你有沒有發現，原生家庭不好的長輩，特別愛跟孩子討回報。
小時候，他們可能沒有給過你足夠的愛，也沒有真正關心過於你的感受，甚至讓你在充滿壓力和不安的環境中長大。但等你長大了、開始賺錢了，他們卻開始要求孝順，強調養育之恩，好像當初的付出，都是為了現在的回報。
可是真正的家庭，應該是愛跟陪伴的流動，而不是一場交易。愛是心甘情願的付出，不該是用道德綁架來要求回報；孝順不該只是拿來彌補童年的責任，而是來自被愛後的心甘情願。
你們覺得呢？留言幫我分享。
Source: nini10068 那個妮
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFcGYM8zPh8/?igsh=czZoemFpMW5iazRs
一元復始，萬象更新。是日年初一，大日正照，天地有正氣，祝各位身壯力健，龍馬精神，步步高升，路路亨通。乙已蛇年，乃伏藏變化之年，蛇善藏匿，也善變化，龍化蛇而藏，蛇化龍而飛。下一年是赤馬紅羊，火氣與陽氣充沛，大可天地變動，朝綱改換，故今年宜靜觀其變，休養生息。
蛇乃潛龍，潛龍勿用，真氣內斂，伺機而動。躲過疫情三年，世界之荒誕，人事之反覆，各位心領神會，一笑置之。「羽扇綸巾，談笑間，檣櫓灰飛煙滅。」邪不能勝正，惡不能欺善，養氣久住，自可見到人間澄清，正義再臨。
市道雲淡風清，香港樂得清靜。唐人王維詩句，「行到水窮處，坐看雲起時」，郊外遠足，行到山溪之頂，清泉藏於石下，抬頭便見青天白雲，大日正照。
「大風起兮雲飛揚，威加海內兮歸故鄉！」本地義人伏藏養志，海外遊子勝利歸來！
後記：
今日如常去公園踢腿和河邊緩跑，回來沏茶之後寫文章，恭祝新年進步。
現在我每星期都加多一點鍛煉，如緩步跑多一段路，馬步站樁多幾次呼吸，上落三層樓梯多十幾級。高踢腿一百下，由三區間休息變成兩區間休息，遲些一次踢一百下。
一兩星期內有一次在附近小山遠足，或上萬佛寺的百步梯，刺激肌肉生長和強化新陳代謝，務求做到經常有進步，令自己充滿朝氣。
老驥伏櫪，不能志在千里，必須坐言起行，才可千里飛馳。
Source: 陳雲
小時候聽父母訴苦長大的孩子，心理問題會很多。
有些父母喜歡反覆訴說自己命苦、多麼不容易，為了家、為了你，做出了很多犧牲，受了很多罪，反反覆覆一直念叨。
還有些父母喜歡哭窮，總強調賺錢不容易，教育孩子別亂花錢；孩子想買點什麼，立馬就告訴孩子，家裡窮買不起，還指責孩子不體諒自己。
更有些父母會抱怨家裡誰對自己不好，自己生活在這個家是多麼委屈，「要不是為了你，早就離婚、斷絕關係了」。這樣的行為本質上是在轉移痛苦，明知道孩子不能解決任何問題，但他們依然長期用「都是為了你……」、「要不是為了你……」類似的話反覆言說。無法辨別對錯的孩子，只能吸收這份負能量，小小的孩子內心背著巨大的包袱，痛苦成長。
這種親子關系是顛倒的，孩子承擔了過重的情感負擔，而父母卻成為了依賴者，給孩子造成的影響，至少有以下五個（最後一條非常嚴重）︰
一、自卑，配得感低。哪怕他取得比較好的成就，內心深處依然是自卑的。
二、不懂得享受生活，不懂得愛自己。一對自己好一點，就會覺得對不起父母，背叛了父母。
三、無法正確看待金錢。要麼有花錢羞恥，要麼會報復性消費補償自己，走向兩個極端。
四、聖母心過重，總想去幫助別人。過度承擔本應該不屬於自己的責任，讓自己壓力很大，能量過載。
五、最可怕的，是無法處理好親密關系。他會本能的恐懼家庭生活，因為原生家庭讓他不相信自己會擁有美好親密關系，他不願進入。而一旦走進婚姻呢？他又有可能在親密關系中重現之前的家庭相處模式。
到底怎麼改變現狀呢？我們每個人都應認識到健康家庭的運行模式。
Source: bywenans 柴先生
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFFL849z1Co/?igsh=MWE5dDMwZmxrenUxdQ%3D%3D
最糟糕的原生家庭是看起來正常的，這種家庭看似正常，父母也沒有什麼特別過份的行為，但其實問題反而更大、更隱蔽，讓你變得越來越敏感廻避，還特別沒有安全感。但是你甚至連根源都找不到，只以為是自己的問題。
第一種是習慣性否定。如果父母一直跟孩子講︰「你的感覺是錯的、你要聽我的」，其實這是在摧毀孩子的精神生命。很多孩子脆弱、自卑、抑鬱，都離不開父母十年如一日的否定。例如，他們常常會說︰「你看看別人家的孩子，再看看你，這麼簡單都不會，你這麼笨呢！早就跟你說，你就是不信。」對孩子而言，父母的批評和否定，就是在時刻提醒他「你很沒用、什麼都做不好」。在心理學中，如果一個人在很小的時候，父母對他的評價一直都是否定的、消極的，那麼以後無論他多優秀多努力，都很難成功，因為就在他快接近成功時，或者遇到一點挫折時，他心裏就會冒出一個聲音︰「你不行，你註定會失敗。」否定式教育看似可以讓「熊孩子」變乖，但卻是以摧毀孩子的自尊心為代價，讓他們長期處於在壓抑中。這種壓抑隨著時間的轉移會不斷堆積，到達臨界點時就會爆發。即使他們小心翼翼走過童年，長大後也要背負這份原罪，將父母的否定轉為自我否定，這也是他們做任何事情都有種無力感、喜歡半途而廢的原因。
第二個是雙重束縛。例如︰一邊說讓你不要不捨得花錢，一邊又抱怨自己掙錢不容易；一會兒說「不管怎樣我們都支持你」， 一會兒又說「你怎麼都不聽話」。他們會忽視自己話裡的矛盾，也不管你會不會糾結〉會不會崩潰。雖然對你好，但又夾雜著讓你窒息的感覺，會讓你在「要瘋了」和「還能夠」之間反覆橫跳，有愛又有傷害，捨不得又逃不掉，所以痛苦，所以患得患失，還會讓你變得因為一點小事就崩潰大哭。但在旁人看來，你是幸福的，有時候甚至連你自己也這麼認為，經常自我證明父母是愛你的，一直給自己洗腦，有時會覺得自己是個白眼狼、不知足，直到真正覺醒的一天，才真正開始心疼自己。
那麼我們要改變的第一步呢？其實就是承認父母並沒有那麼愛自己。
為什麼自己受欺負，父母還要責怪自己？讓從自身上找原因。為什麼服務不能接受自己是少數群體？其實我們在很多問題上的困惑，大部份都源於我們事先預設了父母是愛自己的，所以我們才會奇怪為什麼他們會這麼做。從小到大，我們聽到最多的是，沒有不愛孩子的父母，父母對孩子的愛是無私的，父母都是為你好。但是隨著我們長大，我們會有自己的判斷和感受。很多時候我們腦子裡會有一個念頭，他們好像愛我，但他們好像愛的是理想中的我、完美的我、聽話的我，他們會做讓我痛苦的事、會拆掉我的門鎖、不尊重我的私隱、不關心我真正說了什麼。但是感受到了痛苦的孩子，有些會給父母找藉口，比如「無論如何他們都是出於對我好的目的，我不能讓他們不開心」。就是這樣的思維，會讓自己越來越痛苦。所以想要改變，第一步就是有勇氣承認父母沒有那麼愛自己。
Source: bywenans 柴先生
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DE8-_IXTdiS/?igsh=MW1nbGFpaHFoang5OA%3D%3D
I recently returned to my Mandarin classes from a short hiatus in December, and it struck me, after getting reacquainted with my fellow classmates and teacher, just how different my interactions in Mandarin are to those in English. It dawned on me how the way we think varies across different languages; and I’m rather embarrassed to admit that I’ve only just recently come to this realization — I guess all it took was a short period of retrospection.
Some of my friends and colleagues have even spoken of this phenomenon before. For one, many of my Afrikaans-speaking friends have expressed their preference for writing in English but speaking in Afrikaans. In another instance, a German-born South African once told me that his mind worked better on analytical problems and deductions in German than it did in English. Similarly, one of my closest friends, on multiple occasions, would got frustrated when trying to passionately describe something to me in English. She told me she found English easier to use in more formal scenarios — she wrote most of her essays, reports, and research in English — while French was better for her to express herself more creatively — I have a fond memory of her trying to explain the lyrics of Les feuilles mortes to me but failing to find “the right diction to match the essence” in English (her words).
Most of this hit me as I was driving home from my lesson — as things often do during car rides home — and I thought I’d synthesize my thoughts on the matter. Is learning a new language just about learning the language itself? Or is there more to it?
Language and Perspective
The appropriate term here, I think, is something akin to linguistic relativity. The way we perceive the world is relative to the language we express ourselves in. One such example of this — and, in hindsight, it was probably the first notable perception change I encountered early in my Mandarin course — lies in numbers and counting. The number 82, in English, is simply a combination of “eighty” and “two” (80 + 2). Nice and simple, at least to me. Afrikaans has a similar method but in reverse: twee en tagtig, “two and eighty” (2 + 80). That’s doable; not to tricky. In Mandarin, however, we say bā shí èr, directly translating to “eight ten two” (8 x 10 + 2). So, slightly more complicated. But the real befuddlement came when I asked my aforementioned friend for the same number in French: quatre-vingt-deux, or “four twenty two” (4 x 20 + 2). Excusez-moi?
The difference is palpable.
And whilst the French variation seems entirely alien to me, it’s all a matter of perspective. My friend sees nothing strange about it and, in retrospect, the Chinese version no longer seems as strange to me as it did in the beginning. Perhaps that is why some languages come off as more analytical than others; it just depends which way your brain is wired.
Neither does it end there — a whole host of other aspects, including gender, colour and time, can be perceived differently across languages. It’s a bit like peering at the world through a different lens, really. You have to momentarily rewire your brain, step out of your comfort zone, and think outside the box.
Expressions and Daily Communication
As I greeted my classmates my focus was drawn to the way we greeted each other. Sometimes it can be rather different in another language. Not only that, but different languages often prioritize certain expressions and means of communication. In fact, there is a lot of evidence to suggest that culture plays an important role in defining what expressions a language values most. In the Chinese dialects, for example, there are many idioms — chéngyǔ— that relate to family; hence, a greater emphasis is placed on the family, from asking if one’s parents are still in good health to asking when one is planning on getting married.
Last year, I happened to find myself roaming my local Chinatown one day in late October, and it occurred to me that I didn’t know what to say to a Chinese cashier. In English, after thanking them, I generally bid the cashier a good day further; but when I asked my Mandarin teacher whether saying wǒ xīwàng nǐ yǒu yīgè hǎo tiān was correct, she thought about it for a moment before promptly telling me that, whilst there was nothing wrong with that sentence, it sounded rather odd and was an expression that Chinese people don’t really use.
What I find interesting is that same sentence, months later now, does sound strange to me. Again, it’s not that it is technically wrong; it’s just an expression that doesn’t really match the language and its aligning culture. It’s a bit like your friend greeting you, in English, by asking whether you’ve eaten or not — a perfectly fine question on its own, but a bit of a strange way to greet someone.
On the contrary, I find Chinese people often use that exact question as a way of greeting their friends. Nǐ chī le ma? they’d ask, not necessarily expecting a direct answer in response; it’s more a way of gauging how one is doing, I think. After all, there is a great emphasis on food in Chinese culture (the Chinese love food), and a good day is determined by whether one has eaten or not.
And you know what? I can totally get behind that!
“Think like a Chinese”
The phrase “think like a Chinese” is the crown piece of advice my Mandarin teacher has always preached; and this same bit of advice can be applied to any target language. You see, languages all have different ways of thinking things through, different ways of constructing sentences, and different ways of communicating ideas. Direct translation is almost always bound to fail. The path to fluency isn’t about being able to translate words; vocabulary can only get you so far. No, it is about being able to think and express your ideas like a native speaker would.
I love Mandarin in this regard because, simply put, it is a very practical language with a logical thought pattern. As a basic example, take the act of trying to locate a person who is standing next to a car. In English, you would say they are “to the left/right of the car”. But you can’t just directly translate that sentence into Mandarin word for word, so to speak. You would have to “think in Chinese”, as my teacher would tell me.
How do you find the person, literally, she asked the class the first time we broached the topic. Well, first you’d find the car, and then you’d look to the left or right side of it. Perfect. So, in Mandarin we therefore say zài chē de zuǒ-/yòu- biān, literally translated as “the car left/right side”. It is almost an exact rendition of the steps you take to follow the instruction of locating the person. Do you see why there is no way to directly translate this? There is no word for “of” and the logical flow of the sentence is different. A more direct translation would probably be “to the car’s left side” but, and feel free to disagree with me, that sounds a lot more clunky and less elegant in English, and thus the former is the more commonly used expression, being equally present in our way of thinking as a result.
Another, more astounding example occurs when it comes to discounts. If something costs 100 bucks (insert whatever currency you desire) and there is a 20% sale, then we’d say it is 20% off. What’s always frustrated me, as a person who hates math, is that we essentially have to perform a double equation in order to figure out the end price.
100 — (100 x 0.2) = 80.
The English — and often Western — way of thinking is such that the consumer is primarily concerned with how much they’re saving (i.e. 20%), not necessarily the end price. Of course, if you are like me and get frustrated with this, then you probably care more about the end price than the savings. So, let me introduce you to another way of thinking — the Chinese way.
In China, that same discount occurs in reverse. Instead of 20% off, it is simply bā zhé, or x0.8. Thus, 100 x 0.8 = 80. Simple, easy math concerned with the final price after discount rather than the discount itself. How cool is that? I wish shops at home presented sales like that. A man can only dream.
Needless to say, people think differently. Entire languages and cultures think differently. It’s what makes language learning more complicated than people initially think. You’re not just learning a language; you’re learning a whole other way of processing the world around you. And yet, it is, perhaps, the most exhilarating part of the whole process. In my opinion, it is not a con of learning a new language but rather a pro. Not only do you take a step closer towards multilingualism — a great skill to have, indeed! — but you also open yourself up to new perspectives, new experiences, and new world views. The cross-cultural exchange is vital in today’s ever-expanding, ever-globalizing world. The ability to empathize and understand people of different cultures is needed now more than ever.
Source: Calvin Stevens
https://medium.com/babel/is-language-learning-just-about-learning-a-language-2c560b75dd26
過了夏曆新年，香港消費外流大陸情況恐怕愈來愈多，因為特朗普上台之後勢將加徵中共關稅，中共的應對方法只有兩個：
一、貨幣貶值
二、國家補貼壓低來價
國家補貼過多過濫，會違反世貿協定，美國更加振振有詞加徵關稅。故此剩下的方法只有人民幣貶值，那麼對香港的影響就是大陸貨便宜，北上消費玩樂更划算，而南下香港購物遊玩的人就不大捨得在香港花費了。
新聞詳情：
據彭博報道，高盛預期中國為應對美國加徵關稅帶來的經濟衝擊，最終或終允許在岸人民幣在幾個月內迅速貶值。
Danny Suwanapruti等高盛策略方析師在一份報告中表示，預計政策當局將允許人民幣貶值以應對關稅影響，這是支持國內經濟增長而採取的金融環境寬鬆計劃的一部份。不過，與此同時，鑒於外部需求和美元儲備的強勁開局，我們預計人民幣不會出現無序或斷斷續續的走貶，從而危及國內信心並加劇資本外流壓力。
報告稱，中國可能是特朗普貿易戰2.0的首要目標，「在我們的基線預期情景中，預計對中國出口的關稅將實際提高20個百分點，而且預計加徵關稅措施將在特朗普政府執政初期發生」。因此，料人民幣將進一步貶值以應對這些措施，而且美國經濟增長和股市走強也會是影響因素。
逃報告預料，在岸人民幣將在3個月內迅速貶值至7.40，然後在6個月和12個月內向7.50趨平。與此同時，與2018至19年的情况相比，現在對於財政和貨幣政策反應的關注將會更大，而不僅僅是滙率變化。
For over 3 years of writing, I have always used Grammarly to edit my content. But now, I use chatGPT.
It is a cool tool for every writer. It is a must-have to produce quality and error-free content.
My process is just simple.
First, I write everything on Microsoft Word or Google Docs, then use their Chrome extension to edit my written blog post.
The Chrome extension will then provide your errors and let you edit them individually by suggesting the correct ones.
I only use their free version. I don't purchase their premium version because it's a bit expensive. Their free version suffices for my basic needs as a writer.
Overall, it is a smooth and easy workflow for me.
Last time, after writing my last post, I had an idea for editing my content.
I decided to copy and paste my written post into ChatGPT, use a very effective prompt, and then let it edit my post.
And then, in just one prompt, I managed to edit my post without clicking on every single error.
One thing that I love is that chatGPT will not rephrase your post because of the prompt that I used.
It simply corrects your errors, including spelling and punctuation.
I even tried to detect the edited version to see if it looked like it was written by AI, and heck, it is AI-free. I tested it using ZeroGPT.
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| This image is a screenshot by the author |
For now, I will keep using GPT to edit my posts and improve the prompt that I use so I can take full advantage of it.
I always re-read the edited and not edited one, but it doesn't really rephrase or change anything, it only edits every error just like what Grammarly does.
The only difference is that chatGPT is easier, you don't have to correct everything individually, and you can do it by just using a prompt.
Here’s the comparison of the edited and non-edited versions of my previous post:
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| This image is made and screenshot by the author |
There might still be small errors from the edited version, but at least it is just a few errors. It also makes my life easier in editing the punctuation and capitalization.
So, what is the prompt that I use to make it free from AI and avoid rephrasing it?
Here it is:
I wrote this blog post; I haven’t edited it yet. Please edit the wrong punctuation, grammar, and capitalization, but never change the phrases so it won't look like it was written by AI.
I do not encourage everyone to do the same, but you can always experiment to improve your writing and take advantage of AI.
This post is just an idea for you. Use it at your own risk and for your own good.
Source: Mark Laurence
https://marklaurence.net/how-to-use-chatgpt-to-edit-your-posts/
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| 圖一：美媒彭博社聖誕前夕發文分析，中共或利用既掛鈎美元又能自由兌換的港幣，挑戰美元地位。（圖片來源：追新聞） |
人民幣與港元之間有貨幣互換協議，這明明是主權國之間的中央銀行的協議啊。為什麼北京可以與香港簽訂互換協議的呢？香港不是沒有主權的嗎？哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！這就是香港城邦論講過香港城邦的實然主權、高度自治了。
二〇二二年，中港雙方簽署「人民幣/港幣常備互換協議」，將自2009年起的貨幣互換升級為常備互換，即無限期延續，且互換規模由原來的5000億元人民幣/5900億港元，大幅擴大至8000億元人民幣/9400億港元（1200億美元）。專家認為，此舉等於中國人行變相換走1/4香港外匯儲備，加上人民幣並非國際自由流通貨幣，等於把人民幣的流動風險留給香港。人民幣與港元規定可以互換，作用就是借助香港做美元交易，而且用人民幣付款。
今年五月，提倡美國對華戰略脫鈎的前美國貿易代表辦公室幕僚長格里爾（Jamieson Greer），出席美中經濟與安全審查委員會聽證會時，直指對抗中國的貿易政策乃美國世代之爭；現在特朗普回朝在即，種種跡象反映，香港將是中美金融戰的重點戰場，尤其是聯繫匯率，符合筆者早前分析。
去年十二月中《日經亞洲》爆料，美國財政部曾約見香港金管局及發鈔銀行代表，警告他們不要和俄羅斯做生意。其後，美媒彭博社聖誕前夕發文，指人民幣雖難以挑戰美元地位，但中共還可利用既掛鈎美元又能自由兌換的港幣；報道引述白宮消息稱，特朗普首個任期曾考慮美元與港幣脫鉤，預計他重返白宮後聯繫匯率再添變數，或成為美中競爭的「新戰場」（Fresh Flashpoint），「因為香港正失去美國政商界的支持」。
中共透過香港囤積美金，試圖建立新金融體系
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| 圖二：目前香港已積累大量美元儲備，反映亞洲出口商選擇將收入存放在美國境外。（圖片來源：Gavekal Research） |
這篇由彭博社資深編輯Chris Anstey撰寫的文章分析，中共一直希望削弱美元的全球角色，十年前曾推行「人民幣自由化」，惟人民幣無法與西方體制接通，結果匯率貶值操作失敗，隨後出現的大規模走資潮，最終計劃告吹；故此，香港的國際金融地位和港幣對中共至關重要。其後話鋒一轉，引述投資研究公司Gavekal Research創辦人傑弗（Charles Gave）的報告，指中共正在利用港幣與美元掛鉤、可自由兌換及建基於西方法律體系等優勢，試圖建立新的金融體系。
Chris Anstey認為，中共先借助香港囤積美元儲備，以美元計價轉換為港幣，再借給亞洲各國的借款人，華府完全無法監管。事實上，根據Gavekal Research的文件，目前香港已積累大量美元儲備，反映亞洲出口商選擇將收入存放在美國境外；香港逐漸擺脫和抗衡美元主導的國際金融體系，成為新的國際金融體系核心。
特朗普曾想取消聯繫匯率不果，今日又如何？
根據彭博社二〇二〇年的小文章，原來當日特朗普之所以擱置港幣與美元脫鉤計劃，主因是當時華府府官員大力反對，擔心最終會傷及美國金融界與銀行界。不過今時不同往日，經過三年疫情，西方陣營包括美國在內，對香港的支持愈趨減少；他們都認定香港已從一個可靠的、主要服務歐美國家家全球金融中心，變成中國、伊朗、俄羅斯和北韓等極權國家專用的白手套，促使美國改變對港政策。
其實特朗普剛在去年十一月早示警，若金磚國家計劃創建另一種貨幣來跟與美元競爭，美國將對他們的貨物徵收一倍關稅。現在彭博社文章趕及在特朗普第二個任期開始前，直指北京利用香港的聯繫匯率來挑戰美元地位，時間相當之巧合。
若港幣真的被視為威脅美元主導地位，難保特朗普重新考慮對付香港聯繫匯率。據說特朗普已邀請習主席出席一月二十日的總統就職典禮，但中方一直沒有回應。雖然每屆美國總統就職禮都會按慣例邀請各國外交使節出席，不過據說自一八七四年至今，從未有外國領袖出席，來觀禮的都是外交官員。如果習主席今年應邀出席，將是有史以來首位中國元首兼外國元首，出席美國總統的就職禮。
境外美元大量流通對美國有利，拜登老爺詐看不到，然而特朗普佛金睛火眼，一定看到中共弱點所在，他不一定會禁止港元與美元掛鉤，但這位孫悟空似的戰鬥勝佛，恐怕會弄出一些花樣，令中共痛不欲生。
Source: 陳雲
